50 Things You Should Know About Marriage
Although getting married is undoubtedly the best commitment you can make in your life, it's not going to be that fairytale dream come true 24/7. There will be bumps and hiccups along the way, but the cool thing is that the two of you get to take on the world together.
Glamour magazine assembled a list of things that studies and marriage experts have shown to be things all couples headed down the aisle need to be aware of.
Here are 50 things everyone ought to know before they get hitched:
1. You HAVE to communicate
Things that you maybe got away with shoving under the rug and feelings you just bottled up when you were dating . . .that won't fly when you're married. Issues will become bigger issued if they're not discussed, so it's best to just get them out in the open.
2. Your proposal and wedding won't be perfect
We know that it's been chalked up to be this pinnacle, top-of-the world moment (and hopefully it is!), but don't be too dismayed if it's not. The nerves, mishaps, and minor screw-ups will make the day real and will end up being the most memorable.
3. You may not be crazy about your engagement ring
Unless you hand pick it out together, there's a chance it may not be your favorite cut (especially if he surprises you).
4. . . . .and if that's the case, it's ok to change it!
That being said, there should be no hard feelings if you choose to change it, as long as you are gentle in your explanation. Maybe something like, "This is a beautiful ring, but I think I'd enjoy it more if it was a silver band."
5. Things will change when you get engaged
It'd be a mistake to think things will stay the same once you're married. Obviously marriage is a whole different realm than dating, but in a good way. You're a team now, and two heads really can be better than one.
6. And some things will stay the same . . .
Not everything will change. Your day-to-day routines will, for the most part, stay the same. Old disagreements you had before won't magically go away.
7. You will instantly become Miss Popular after you get engaged
Everyone and their dog will want to see you immediately after you announce your engagement. They'll want to know exactly what he said, how he did it, what you were wearing, etc. Phone calls won't be enough, they'll want to see the ring and you in person. To save your planner from overload, schedule one big get-together.
8. You'll have to try extra hard to have time to yourself
An added need and desire for dependence will be an outcome of getting married, but keep in mind that you still have an innate desire to be independent in some things.
9. There is no cookie-cutter marriage
Don't think that just because your best friend, Kelly, has a great marriage because she and her husband go to concerts together, doesn't mean you will. Just because his buddy, AJ, has a woman that will go out to the bars with him, doesn't mean that's a scene you two need to be a part of. Every marriage is different so know that you and your new spouse will have your own relationship and that their is no perfect model for matrimony.
10. You'll have to consiously remind yourself how to be spontaneous
It'll be easier to fall into a rut once you're engaged, so don't forget that you can still be creative and surprise each other to keep the romance alive.
11. Certain things about your future spouse will remain a mystery until you're under the same roof
You won't fully realize all his little quirks until you see him in his natural habitat. What time he goes to bed, how often he talks to his parents, and what chores he'll claim as his own will be revealed after you can call the same house your home.
12. Never get married in efforts to save your marriage
It's not a solution to your relationship problems. No relationship exists without some disparities, but entering matrimony won't eliminate couple's troubles.
13. Include your ring in your insurance plan
Your engagement ring will quickly become one of your most prized possessions so make sure you're prepared in case the stone becomes loose, you lose it, or it gets stolen.
14. A short engagement is a good idea if . . .
You're an extremely detailed-oriented person and will psych yourself out over the planning.
15. But a long engagement is a good idea if . . .
You have a some other big commitments on your plate right now, like a baby or major things going on in your career. Wedding planning will take up a lot of your evenings and weekends so if more time will keep your mind at ease, a longer engagement might be a good idea.
16. Getting married young has some pros . . .
Your friends haven't been to 50 weddings already and you're still at the point in your life where people aren't pressuring you to have kids.
17. As does getting married when you're older . . .
You, along with your friends, are more financially stable than you were in your early twenties. You'll also be taken more seriously by friends and family because you're tying the knot with more knowledge and experience under your belt.
18. Stick to the wedding date you chose
Commit to a date once you pick it so you can solidify it on the calendar and in all the plans to follow.
19. Don't be surprised if you start caring about minute wedding details
Things you swore you never would care about, you probably will now. How many roses are in your bouquet, what font you're using on the invites, how many placemats are at each table . . .everything is suddenly very relevant and very important.
20. The groom will start to care about the little things too
Although the man typically isn't quite as intent on the specifics as the lady, he'll care about things too and should definitely have a say in plans.
21. You'll get more wedding advice than you need/want
Everyone will feel compelled to offer their two-cents about how your marriage should go. Some of it will be very useful and some of it will not relate to you at all. Know that you can take whatever advice you want and have the rest go in one ear and out the other.
22. Keep in mind these 3 things when wedding dress shopping . . .
• Your individual budget -- so you're not even looking at gowns out of your price range
• Your venue -- you want your dress to match the theme of your location
• Your company -- don't visit too many shops because all the opinions will muddle together and just confuse you
23. Write everything down!
Even if you're not a write-in-a-planner kind of person, try to be for the wedding details! Technology is great for storing plans but can fail sometimes.
24. Give your photographer a must-take list
Don't expect your photographer to automatically know the kinds of poses and angles you want. If you want specific shots, make sure you notify the camera man or woman of those.
25. Re-register for gifts
A one-time registration for gifts at Target probably won't be enough. Chances are people will buy you gifts right away, and you'll think of more things you need as the weeks go on. Update your registry from time to time to make sure its stays current.
26. You'll need a whole lot of thank-you cards
Although they are tedious and seem to take forever, these are a must for all gifts you receive.
27. Spend the night before your wedding with your gals
Enjoy your last night as a single woman and spend some time with your girls. Whether it be your friends, sisters, or both, take yourself back to your childhood days and have a good old-fashioned sleepover, go to a movie, or go shopping.
28. DO NOT stay up crazy late the night before
Don't do anything risky the night before that will put a damper on your big day. It will be a day full of last-minutes fixes, hairspray, crying, smiling, laughing, hugs, dancing, kissing, and so much more. Make sure you're well-rested for it!
29. Relax on the wedding day
Kick back and leave the worrying to someone else. This is your day!
30. Steal away a moment or two with your beau on your wedding day
Lots of brides will tell you this one. This day is about you and your handsome husband. Don't get so caught up in entertaining everybody else that you forget to share an intimate moment with your love.
31. You might experience postnuptial depression
You've spent the last 6 months or maybe even year planning for this one day. It's normal to feel a little sad when it's all over. Try to focus on a new project that the two of you can undertake together, and don't forget about all the wonderful things still to come!
32. Don't be taken off guard - the baby question will come right away
Don't ask why, but for some reason it's something that everybody is wondering, and usually doesn't refrain from asking about.
33. Pre-wedding disagreements will still exist post-wedding
Marriage won't suddenly make you two see eye-to-eye on everything. Know that although you are joined as one, you still have your own opinions, and that there will be little things that you still won't agree on.
34. Your spouse will complain about the in-laws every now and then
Everyone's family is different, and that can be a good or bad thing. You may be A-ok with his booming, great uncle Frank and his talkative cousin Minnie, while he may squirm a little every time your aunt Hilda walks into a room. Friendships can't be forced, but being polite and courteous to each other's families, even if you're not fond of them, is a must. Handle the matter delicately and respectfully!
35. Talking about money is a must
This is a subject you cannot avoid. Money shouldn't be the foundation of any marriage, but it is a vital part of planning on budgets, purchases, groceries, etc. Speak to each other respectfully and try to take all things into consideration when coming up with a spending plan.
36. You'll argue about things you never did before
You'll undergo a lot of unique changes during your first year as a married couple. You're both trying to figure life out and how you two fit together. Obviously neither one of you enjoy fighting so you'll both have to make a conscious effort to work with each other.
37. You may feel like you're in the shadow of your parents' marriage
We've all either said this before or heard it before: "I don't want to turn into my dad" or "No . . .I'm just like my mom!" And that mini fear may creep into your marriage too. Know this: you may have some of the same characteristics and antics of your parents, but your marriage is yours and not theirs.
38. You may drink more after you're hitched
Not to say you'll be doing this out of sadness or emptiness. It's just a fact that, on average, men tend to drink more than women. And now that a whole lot more of your time is spent with Mr. Wonderful, you'll probably start to acquire some of his habits, including social drinking.
39. You'll find out things about each other you didn't know before
The longer you're married, the more things you'll find out about each other. Even if you've dated for 10 years and think you know each other perfectly, there's always new things to learn. That's the beauty of the partnership of marriage . . .you know that there will be surprises along the way, but you're prepared to tackle them together.
40. You'll hang out with other couples more often than before
You'll want to hang out with people that have similar interests to you, and more often that not, that will end up being other married couples. This doesn't mean that your friendships with single people should fall through the cracks; you may just have to make a more intentional effort to hang out with them.
41. When one spouse is away, the other will probably hang with their bestie
It will be stranger now to be apart, once you're married. Don't be surprised if your hubby goes and meets up with his bud from high school whenever you're gone a couple days.
42. You won't feel passionate all the time
This may seem obvious, but it's worth mentioning. One of you might be in the mood while the other one definitely isn't. Try to get into a routine and have realistic expectations of one another so both of you are on the same page.
43. Your stress levels will directly affect the success of your marriage
Extreme stress in the workplace will leak into your home relationship so try to leave work problems at the office. It's fine to vent to your honey about career struggles, but when it's constantly on your mind, your marriage will suffer.
44. It's inevitable - you're going to have to do unsexy things with one another
We know it's not cute, but someone's got to scrub the toilet, buy toilet paper, and clean out the sink. Bottom line is, you promised to stick with each other through thick and through thin, but the neat thing is, that even with dirt on your elbows and sweat on your brow, you'll still love each other at the end of the day.
45. With a name change comes a lot of paperwork
You may have written your name alongside his last, with hearts surrounding it, countless times, but you have even more paperwork to do. You'll have to update your license, Social Security card, credit cards, passport, and IRS information.
46. If you choose not to change your name, be prepared for interrogations
"Do you have a problem with commitment?" "Don't you know that your kids will have to have a different last name than their mom now?" "Don't you respect tradition?" Don't be surprised if you hear each of these, multiple times.
47. It'll be tricky deciding which holidays are spent where and with whom
This will be tricky to divy up. Although it would be perfect if both families could spend every holiday together, don't bet on it. If both families are nearby, consider spending the morning with one and the afternoon/evening with the other. If there's a sizeable distance between you and your extended family, you may have to alternate holidays or years.
48. You'll have to actually schedule dates
Before you were married, you could just randomly decide to go out on the town whenever you wanted. Now that your lives revolve around a bunch of other things, you'll have to actually clear each other's schedules in advance for date night.
49. This is the most common question you will be asked . . .
"Does being married feel different?" Yup, even years after the big day.
50. Your partner should make you feel like an all-around better person
Marriages that last decades are the ones where each spouse will say that the other makes them a better version of themselves.
Empire Productions wants to make sure your day goes smoothly and that it's something you can look back at and say, "I wouldn't have had it any other way." We help you with the whole planning and outline process for your reception, bring the party the day and night of, and much more. Success for us means making you happy.
For more information on how we can make your wedding epic, call (605) 929-2202, visit us at www.dj-siouxfalls.com, or email email@example.com.